La torre de Babel

"Now the whole earth had one language and the same words. And as people migrated from the east, they found a plain in the land of Shinar and settled there. And they said to one another, “Come, let us make bricks, and burn them thoroughly.” And they had brick for stone, and bitumen for mortar. Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be dispersed over the face of the whole earth.” And the Lord came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of man had built.  And the Lord said, “Behold, they are one people, and they have all one language, and this is only the beginning of what they will do. And nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and there confuse their language, so that they may not understand one another's speech.” So the Lord dispersed them from there over the face of all the earth, and they left off building the city. Therefore its name was called Babel, because there the Lord confused the language of all the earth. And from there the Lord dispersed them over the face of all the earth. {Genesis 11:1-9}

Allow me to paint a mental picture for you:
There is a young girl, just learning how to read, and she sits down with a stranger to read aloud with her. The young girl's age and reading level would suggest a nice picture book with large font and few words, but what she has in her backpack is to the contrary. Instead of a colorful Eric Carle, out comes a Charles Dickens' novel, [insert title of choice]. The stranger is excited because that is one of her favorites; she has read it through multiple times and has watched a couple of movie adaptations, as well. So they open the book with the intent to take turns--the woman would read page 1, the girl would read page 2, and so on. The woman begins with enthusiasm, soaking in each word of the familiar text. As she turns the page, the girl--eager to delve into the story--starts to read. Almost immediately it is made clear that she is exactly what she had originally appeared to be: a young lass with a low literacy rate. The girl recognizes a good handful of the words on her page, but every few moments she struggles as she approaches a strange jumble of letters. She pauses and tries to connect the sounds to form a coherent word. She isn't sure what exactly the word means or if she pronounced it correctly, but she pushes on to the next speed bump. After several lines of staggering speech, the girl becomes agitated. She wells with frustration because she just doesn't feel suited to the task at hand. The further in the text she reads, the more she is made aware of the stranger's presence. Her embarrassment settles in her cheeks. But the woman has been nothing but patient, helping the girl when she cannot get past a particular word or phrase. It is now the stranger's turn to read again, and she picks up from where the girl left off with an eloquent tongue, yet at a noticeably slower pace than before. She finishes and smiles as it is the girl's turn yet again. Anxious to prove that she can read this novel, despite what her age may lead the stranger to infer about her reading ability, she begins again, but the girl cannot seem to grasp the words in the same way that the woman can. The girl stops mid-sentence, looks at the woman with apologetic eyes, and closes her book.

Now let's imagine how both of these females feel, yes? The young girl probably feels incompetent and foolish for wanting to start with such a book. But the girl had heard so much about the book and the author and the plot--it excited her and she was anxious to experience it all for herself. Come to find out, she is unprepared for such a task. So many words do not register; so many idioms present themselves without providing further explanation. The woman is kind, but she was also growing weary of the girl's efforts. The girl had good intentions, but she was butchering a classic [and favorite of said stranger]. Internally the woman had sighed with relief as the girl closed the book, but she did pity the girl and appreciated her wanting to try. Maybe when the girl grows up a little, they can pick up where they left off--the middle of page 4.

 Ok, I'm sure you see where I am going with this by now.

In terms of my Spanish speaking/understanding ability, I am probably as literate as a second or third grader [which is older/more experienced than the girl in my illustration, but not by much]. Have you ever tried to have an intelligent, fluid conversation with a seven-year-old about say... politics, movies, college courses, etc? You should try sometime and tell me how it goes. That is how I feel when I try to have a conversation with a native Spanish speaker. The words helpless, ignorant, and headache run through my mind. Try watching a random movie in a different language [without English subtitles] without feeling anxious or frustrated at not being able to comprehend anything.

Over the past few months I have been mulling over this whole language-crisis thing. You know what language does? It divides peoples. Cuts communication and therefore limits relationships. But then I realized something: God did not intend for it to be this way. He made us for relationships--relationships with Him and with each other. The multitude of languages that exist today on this planet are the result of {.....wait for it.....} SIN! Crazy right? In the beginning, God had this great idea that people would live in harmony with one another, loving Him and one another. But after Babel*--after the people wanted to become like gods, wanted to elevate themselves above the one God who created them--God did the merciful thing. Instead of smiting all humankind, He allowed it to continue, just more disconnected. People had already detached from their God, so God would detach them from one another. Ever since the fall of man, people have tried to reverse the curse, without success. Jesus did bridge the gap between man and God, but now, Christians have to bridge the gap between themselves and everyone else {Great Commission--Matthew 28:18-20}. But that whole language-difference-as-a-result-of-sin thing muddies that task.

Wanting to learn and put my Spanish knowledge into practice has been THE hardest and most humbling thing that I have ever experienced. In context of my present circumstances, I have come here to BA to build relationships and share about Jesus. But my excitement is shadowed by my inability to speak, to understand, to communicate well. Sometimes it feels utterly defeating. After years of Spanish courses in high school and college, I do not think I should be having as much trouble as I am right now.

I know God has me here for a reason. A verse that motivated me in the beginning to apply for this position was, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." {2 Corinthians 12:9} I knew that I would struggle with the language, but I was following a God that is bigger than language, that created language. So no matter how discouraged I feel, I know He is going to work through my inability to speak for His glory. So as that young girl, I will return to the bench with the Dickens' novel and push through until the words begin to flow and understanding comes naturally, all the while praying that the woman will have unending grace.^


*I personally read the Bible literally. If you do not, just go with it. Thanks.

^This post is not a result of self-pity, so I am not fishing for you to leave a supportive comment. Please just continue to pray that God will use Lindsay and I to reach the people of BA, and that He will teach me as I struggle with the effects of that unfortunate mishap thousands of years ago: Babel.